I met Gary in San Francisco. We matched on Tinder – I thought he was kind of cute, although a little nerdy looking so I wasn’t sure if he would be one of those awkward Asians or fobby Asians. He seemed really friendly though as we chatted, and we decide to meet up at a club. I’m supposed to go with some other people that a friend had set up for me, but that didn’t happen, so I end up meeting Gary there in the line to get in.

Gary is definitely as cute (or cuter) in person and a genuinely friendly guy – a little shorter than me, but with a baby-ish face, dimples when he smiles and a mature vibe to him. He introduces me to his group of friends (that he had just met as well since he was new to the city) and they seem like a cool bunch, so I’m pretty stoked to get to hang with a decent group of locals.

The more I talk to Gary the cooler I find him. He has a subtle intelligence and humour about him that I can’t quite put my finger on – he makes jokes that take me a second to get, and uses words like serendipitous in everyday talk, but it’s never pretentious.

We finally enter the club, dance, drink and slowly get closer and closer until we’re making out. He ends up getting quite drunk and a friend brings him some water. Gary offers for me to come back and spend the night at his, so I of course accept.

When we get there, we make out a tonne more and start getting naked. We give each other head for a bit, but then he mentions he hasn’t had sex in years and that his past relationships weren’t that sex driven, but he essentially offers his ass to me. Unfortunately neither of us has lube, so it doesn’t happen, but instead continue making out, cuddling and then going to sleep.

The next morning I realise he has no idea what happened last night, which makes me feel a bit bad because I remember EVERYTHING when I’m drunk. I tell him how we almost had sex, but that I’m glad we didn’t since we both probably weren’t in our right minds to make that decision.

Later that evening I go out again to one of the gay clubs with a group from my hostel, and as a pleasant surprise Gary ends up ditching his group to join me. We end up back at his and get a little high before falling asleep.

Because it’s the long weekend, his group are planning on going out the following night as well, so they invite me over for dinner and we head out for my third night in a row, and again I end up at Gary’s place, and in each others’ arms.

And again the following week.

I learn that Gary is just a really generous guy overall – He buys extra food on my behalf for the pot luck we go to, and he’s happy to buy people drinks or to call a ride to/from the club, which is super attractive to me.

The night before I leave San Francisco, I decide to see him again. I can’t stay over because I’m staying with another friend and have an early morning the next day, but this time we just chat. We had chatted before (usually the mornings after I had stayed over), but I realise even more so how cool, calm and grounded Gary is, and it makes it that much harder to leave the city.

He me feel welcome and brought me into his group of friends and spent his precious weekend time with me.

Gary, thanks so much for welcoming me into your group of friends and for spending your weekend time with me. I hope you end up with someone who appreciates your intelligence, generosity and wit.


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